you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
where does the pee come out of this thing
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
