Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have aggressive nipples.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
