I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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