Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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