go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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