I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
