please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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