i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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