Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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