Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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