Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
...so i touched it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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