i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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