I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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