did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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