Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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