Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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