In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
