I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
