Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
