Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
