your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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