Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
