he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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