thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
