hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
