the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We had sex on a dog bed..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I currently don't understand fingers.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
