Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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