I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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