whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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