How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
