from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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