Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
