I need help removing her.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize