Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
