his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
