The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
