For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
