I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Randomize