he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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