You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
