the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
