its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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