Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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