I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize