So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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