He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
