I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
