so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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