I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize