I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
