I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
