I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
