if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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