office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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