Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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