He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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