So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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